Connecting the Dots

After being asked to sit down for an interview that would produce the content for the "Faith Under Fire" column written monthly by a close friend who already knew a lot of the little pieces of our puzzle, I prayed that my heart would find words that reflected the thankfulness and joy that I feel but not mask the pain and loneliness that was present before faith was found.

Since the article went to print, we have received messages from countless family, friends, acquaintances and strangers. It was easy to tell the diversity of contexts in which they read the story and have shared their messages with us. After reading the fourth or fifth message, I realized that each time, portions of the lyrics below were going through my head hours later.

1st: "now I'm found"
2nd: "now I see"
3rd: "my fears relieved"
4th: "my chains are gone"
5th: "unending love"
6th & final: "the Lord has promised good to me"
and then a whisper probably not the exact translation of what God said: "Nough Said!"

Once again, God knew it was time for me to be able to sit down in my impromptu free therapy session with Dianne Howell and tell the story from beginning to present. Sitting for three hours to share over 13 years of events that turned into a game of connecting the dots caused some tears to be shed for the first time and "re shed" for the 100th, old wounds to resurface, and visions of lost memories to enter my heart and mind. While this may sound painful at first glance, this game of connecting the dots opened up a whole new and exciting chapter of our lives as a family of five. New roles to play, paths to chart, goals to conquer, etc.

Thank you to our God, our family, our Church, and our friends for helping us at each dot....

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

For my out of town friends and family: http://www.bluetoad.com/publication/?i=51327

Has it really been a year?

So much has happened and I will soon post our annual Christmas letter. Until that time, here are some pictures so you can see how much these three blessings we call children have changed.

http://www.kristinmosura.com/mel/

Merry Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas from the Mainiero Family: Victor, Melissa, Jacob (13), Zachary (12) and Ava (2)!

We hope that this finds everyone well and enjoying time with family and friends. This year has been busier than ever for our family and at times it has been more than overwhelming. But we know God is good and trust that he will continue to see us through each challenge.

Victor and I continue to work in the field of public education. Victor, being in his third year as a principal, is settling in to his position and making great progress. Working in postsecondary education in the State of Louisiana has its challenges the past year. Louisiana is facing extreme budget cuts and the two agencies that are not protected from these cuts are higher education and health care.

Recently I realized that next August Victor and I will have a preschooler, middle schooler and a high schooler. So I am sure next year’s letter will have some exciting things to report.
Jacob is still very involved in soccer, running, and golf but his recent quest has been to shoot his first deer. I keep telling him to be patient and that his deer is just waiting until he has at least 8 points to come out of the woods. He has grown up (spiritually, mentally and physically) so much this year. A few weeks ago at about 10:00 p.m. I asked him why he was still awake. Yes, I said it with the “mom voice” and the response was “Mom, I’m reading the Bible.” What more could I ask for?

Zachary is doing well and we are focused this year on making the right decision related to middle school placement. This is definitely the main focus of our prayers for him and for the educators that play a significant role in his future. The enclosed photo is definitely for Zachary! He still loves the beach and as a result, we may never be able to take a summer vacation anywhere other than the beach.

Ava – where to start? She is a blessing beyond words and continues to amaze us with what she learns and the things she likes to do. While she does like to watch some children’s shows, she prefers CMT – yes, Country Music Television. Her favorite artists: Taylor Swift, Toby Keith, Trace Adkins, and Keith Urban. She is the joy in our hearts and we know God has blessed us with her for a very specific reason. With warm hearts, we thank Him for her and our boys every day.

Our parents continue to live near us and provide so much support and love to our family that it is overwhelming at times. Victor and I could not do what we do without them and the other family members and friends.

I am sure as you read this you are focused on parties, gift wrapping, baking, Christmas programs, and everything else that seems to attach itself to this time of year. The Mainiero family prays that everyone will remain focused on the reason this time of year exists and that is the miraculous birth of our savior Jesus Christ.

Jacob's Education Metaphor

You know you are a true educator inside and out - 24/7 when your thirteen year old presents you with this thought during dinner. What prompted this was Victor telling us about the new State law that requires teachers to allow students to make up work even when they are suspended (usually an unexcused absence):

Jacob: Mom and Dad, I've been thinking. Here is how I think of education. You have a grocery store (the State Education Department). Inside the grocery store you have an aisle with a bunch of different boxes of chocolate (all of the different districts). Each are labeled with the same thing "blah, blah, blah, blah." Inside the box are all different kinds of pieces of chocolate (parents and teachers). You pick one up and it is anyones guess on what you will get.

Me (trying to keep a straight face): Good metaphor Jacob but I have a few questions. Why the "blah, blah, blah."

Jacob: Because nobody listens to the parents and teachers even though they are closest to the students.

Me: Also, where are the students in your example?

Jacob: They aren't even in the picture.

Makes you think about the education system we have that a thirteen year old has this picture of what the state of education is.

Learning from Mistakes?

During my drive to work every morning, I often have random thoughts or set up my strategy for the day in my head. This morning my mind was wandering in many directions but became focused on parenting. Jacob and Zachary are 17 months apart so there was not much opportunity to learn from any mistakes made as I "parented" Jacob and correct them for the benefit of Zachary. I often wondered if the closeness in their age and my lack of mature parenting skills had anything to do with Zachary's delays. For those of you who are close to me, you know I am beyond blaming myself but that thought process is still part of who I was back then and sometimes I do go back. Doing so actually makes me realize how much we have all progressed and grown as a family and as Christians.

Fast forward 12 years when God gave us the beautiful gift of Ava. It was different from the very beginning. Not planned, carefree and easy pregnancy (yes even as AMA - advanced maternal age), only gained 35 pounds versus 60 pounds (yes, really), and the list goes on. Unfortunately, the morning sickness was the same. Even more surprising to many friends and family we decided not to find out what we were having. I am typically the person that is over prepared and can't handle surprises. Since my mom is not on FB or rarely reads the Blog, I can admit that I snooped with success almost every Christmas. I still cannot express the amazing feeling I had in my heart when we saw that it was a girl. I was truly expecting a boy. Thank you Kristin for capturing the moment for us!

Nineteen months later I am focused on the saying "mistakes are okay if you learn from them." I am an educator and I do believe that but the first step is realizing that you made the mistake in the first place. But what about parenting? As I stated earlier with Jacob and Zachary, there was not enough time to realize the mistakes, let alone make any changes. So I ask myself, "what mistakes did I make, have I learned from them, what can I do to make sure I don't make them again?" I do not seek to be the perfect parent or perfect wife, daughter, sister, or friend but I pray that whatever choices or decisions I make will always glorify God. How do we know that we, as parents, are making the right decisions for our children? Are we giving them every opportunity to discover the gifts God gave them and be able to use their gifts for His glory?

My Life with a 13 Year Old

It was saturday night and there we were, me and Victor, at the Opera after a wonderful dinner. Kids are home with the babysitter, Jena who is a college student. We called home after dinner just to make sure all was okay and of course the response from the 13 year old was "sure, why wouldn't it be." So off to the opera. Just as the curtain was raised, my phone started to buzz. I did not answer. Then Victor's buzzed. Then mine buzzed again. At this point what do I do - make a whole row of people stand up so I can get out to answer and then again to let me back in? My thoughts started to run wild. With my purse flap covering the light from my phone, I sent a text to Jacob "Is all ok?" Of course, it went unanswered. I sent the same text to the babysitter. No response. In the meantime, I am missing the first 10 minutes of the opera which is in Italian with subheadings but I am too preoccupied to follow. You can imagine all of the thoughts that were going through my head. One thought was "oh, my what could be going on?" but quickly followed with "why do I pay his cell phone bill?" Then I thought, maybe if I dial his number, he will see that there is a text and respond. Finally, this worked! He sent me a text that went like this (spelling corrected and no abbreviations included here) "where is the other container of popcorn kernals? we are out and I want to cook some more. everything else is fine." Still concealing my phone under the flap of my purse and hoping the older lady next to me does not turn me into the "opera police" for violating the rules of opera behavior, I sent him a reply that made it clear to him I was not pleased. My gracious, this parenting stuff is hard but I would not trade being the mother to Jacob (13), Zachary (2 months shy of 12) and Ava (19 months today).

What in the world have we been up to?

Well as many of you can sympathize, we have been very busy over the last few months and I have neglected the blog. Surely the February 1st - last post date is an error. Here are some pics to give you an idea of what has been happening. I promise to do better and post more often.

Date Night - Earnest's and the Opera

Ava - always happy in the morning

Jacob - Orthodontist will probably not be happy with the Easter Bunny for this.

Zachary - listen to some tunes on Daddy's phone with his shades on.

We love springtime at Grandma and Papa T's house.

Spring Break hairstyle complements of Daddy - two pigtails and one bow.

Riding around the block with Papa T.

Easter Sunday