After receiving and reading our letter, a dear friend pointed out that while she loved the letter, I had left off some of the best moments of 2010. Well, consider this the bonus material for all of you who may not have received a mailed copy. If you received a copy in the mail, skip ahead to the Bonus Material section.
2010 HAPPENINGS As you read this, Christmas and possibly the year 2010 have passed, a new year is upon us and we hope your holidays and year were blessed beyond imagination! The year 2010 was anything but boring for our family. In fact, we often find ourselves wondering what the state of boredom feels like. Major changes this year included a new position for Melissa in the Bossier Parish School system where she is at Bossier High School as a graduation coach working to increase student and school performance. She continues to teach online undergraduate education courses at LSUS and is thrilled to be back in the school system where two of the kids are in school. This brings us to the next set of “majors” taking place. Jacob, almost 15, started high school this year and is on the Airline HS JV Soccer team. He is doing well in the academic and athletic settings. They are on the 4x4 block schedule and with 4 courses behind him, he ended the semester with a 4.0. Next year’s letter is sure to contain events related to teaching him to drive a car. Zachary moved from an elementary school setting to Cope Middle School and is truly blessed to be among teachers, administrators and students who have a heart for all God’s children. The Adventure Club is a treat for him and we love hearing how regular education kids plan activities for Zachary and the other special needs students. We love him just as he is and cannot wait to see all God has planned for him in 2011. Ava…school? Well, let’s just say she is in the “School of Ava” this year. For 3 years old, she is quite the director and amazes us every day with an imagination that only a child could dream up. As an example, she wanted to sit on the alligator’s lap instead of Santa’s at Bass Pro Shop (she renamed it Pumpkin Shop – pretty sure she is confusing the holidays). Thankfully, the alligators were not there the night we made the trip. There is a brilliant star on top of the steeple of Faith Chapel. It is 3D and has bright spikes coming out of it so Ava insists that it has “baby Superman” in it since it looks like the crystal thing he traveled to earth in – A sign that she has older siblings. She has added a renewed energy to our family and keeps ALL of us on our toes. Papa and Grandma T cannot get enough of her and find a lot to laugh about when she is around. With the addition of nephew number six born to John and Kasie, Ava is no longer the youngest grandchild on Victor’s side of the family. We thought there would be some jealousy shown when she saw Miles being held by Papa and Mimi Mainiero or at least when WE held him but no. She was most upset as Jacob held him on Christmas Eve.
2010 BONUS MATERIAL For the past 5 years, we have talked about getting either a boat or a pool and have debated both sides of both options atleast 100 times. The chosen summer vacation spot of Gulf Shores, AL was sadly interrupted by the oil spill. Knowing that Zachary would not quite understand "Yes, we are here at the beach but you cannot get anywhere near the water," we cancelled and decided to go to Lake Greeson in Arkansas which finally prompted us to take the plunge and buy that boat. Victor apparently did not believe me when I told him I knew how to drive a boat and provide some fun for any tube rider - no matter the age or gender. After the requested leisurely tube ride for me and Jacob turned into a stirring ride on the wakes of the Crownline, I had a temporary lapse in judgment and did not follow Leviticus 19:18
where we are commanded with "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself." Off I we went with Jacob and Victor in the tube and me at the wheel. As you begin to imagine what happened next, let me just say that it ended with me behind the wheel of the Ford and Victor navigating us to the DeQueen, Arkansas Hospital ER. It would be much more pleasant for me to tell this story if I was the one that needed to be seen but I readily admit that Victor was injured to the point of tears and not feeling much like doing anything including breathing. However, we were provided with free entertainment as we waited in the large examining room with all of the other patients needing to be seen. The DeQueen ER is more like the Mash facility than anything I have ever seen but imagine the Mash characters transplanted to the Beverly Hillbillies or something like that and you will have a pretty close picture. Problem...much entertainment = much laughter but because Victor's final diagnosis was two cracked ribs, the laughing was yet another reminder that I did not follow the Lord's command to not seek revenge. The Veggie Tales song that they sing at the end of each video kept ringing in my ears "And so what we have learned applies to our lives today, God has a lot to say in his Book!" Apparently, not only is Lake Greeson just like glass, it happens to be like concrete when you are thrown from a tube going somewhat fast across a wake that was recreated in the same spot over and over by your revenge seeking wife. Thankfully, Jacob was only shaken up and Victor healed. Oh...did I mention this was day one of being on the Lake for a five day trip? All ended well and Zachary (our waterboy) LOVED the water, kneeboarding, and tubing more than I have seen him enjoy anything in a long time. If you noticed in the Christmas pictures, Santa brought him a new kneeboard that he cannot wait to try out in a few months. I am inserting some pictures below that speak for themselves. Well, maybe one needs explaining - the one with the person kneeboarding backwards, is Victor AFTER the broken ribs. Like I said, he healed quickly and was determined to get some activity on the water before we left.
AH-HA This fall, I (Melissa) had the opportunity during an interview for an article to sit down and talk to a friend about our family journey. The title of the column is “Faith Under Fire” and for the November the theme was Thankfulness. We talked for over two hours and I shared ALL of the main events beginning with when Victor and I met through the present time. Throughout the interview, I had several “ah ha” moments where God seemed to be saying “see, I told you there was a reason for…” I realized that while I have told many of the stories about our family walk with autism and journey to find the kind of faith that is made stronger because of struggles, it was the first time I had shared them in sequential order in one sitting. I was so worn out from the emotions and realizations that I felt I owed the interviewer either a payment for therapy services or an apology for the random tearful moments.
COINCIDENCE? We have all heard and probably said “wow, isn’t that a coincidence.” A short list of events in our family that may be seen as just coincidence: God placed Zachary in a family of educators, I was put on bed rest when I was pregnant with Zachary which led me back to the field of education, I was not selected to teach at the first school where I interviewed, I was chosen to teach at a school with an amazing group of educators (some are now teachers at Zachary’s middle school), one administrator who cultivated seeds of faith (who now happens to be an administrator at Zachary’s middle school) and another who shared his personal struggles of having a grown son with autism while giving me the “do whatever you have to do to help your son” advice on a daily basis. When each of these and countless other events happened, they seemed to be coincidental, independent and random. It is not until I looked back to see God’s hands in all of the little details that I was convinced with Him there are no coincidences and the word random is meaningless.
JOY In Kid Zone, the virtue for December was JOY - finding a way to be happy, even when things don't go your way. Not only must we be joyful, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 commands us to give thanks in all circumstances. Looking back on how we responded to Zachary being autistic, I can assure you that I was not joyful and did not give thanks. People would try and comfort us with words like “God does not give you more than you can handle” and “that which does not kill you makes you stronger.” I had heard and read scripture like Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 2:13, Proverbs 19:21, Psalm 121, and Philippians 4:6 several times. All of that to say we knew a lot about what the Bible says for us to do but were failing at following His commands. I knew my life was not mine to plan and after many failed attempts of trying to navigate alone through the struggles that hit our family, we joined a church family where we learned about “troubled grace” and how to look to the Cross for strength and understanding. Yes, it is still hard sometimes to have joy and give thanks but when we do, the rewards are great!
EMMANUEL The celebration of the Birthday of Jesus Christ combined with the realization that the first decade of this Century is coming to an end has caused us to pause and reflect. This is probably why we were guided to write a letter that is less of a newsletter and more of a testimony and share how we moved from the pitiful state we were in ten years ago, as we tried to navigate life alone, to where we are today. We know this was only possible because of a relationship with Jesus Christ and being part of a community of believers who walk with us as we seek to grow closer to Him. Emmanuel, God with us, is all we need as a reminder to be joyful and give thanks in the circumstances that are all part of His plan. Blessings to you and your family in 2011 and may your lives be filled with joy and thankfulness.
Love,
Victor, Melissa, Jacob, Zachary, and Ava Mainiero
